new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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