I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
