you have to choose: penises or morals?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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