It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
