We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
