I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Someone shattered a urinal.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
