Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
