Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
