I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
