Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
