I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
