You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
