Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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