im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
there is puke in my bra ... again
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