I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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