yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
