I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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