Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
