The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
