Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got inside last night via doggy door
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize