mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
