It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
