i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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