That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
