i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
