we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
