it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
