cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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