Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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