My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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