remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
