What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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