The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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