Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
