We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
