I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
