I hate all girls vehemently.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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