so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
