she woke up with a sticky ear
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
