i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
