There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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