I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
