I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
