I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
