I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
