More tranny stories later!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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