Buhtt sex?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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