you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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