ugly people sure do ruin things
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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