I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I will pee on everything he values.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
