So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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