Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
soo... how was my night?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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