mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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