she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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