Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
