why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
