The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
