May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
