I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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