ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
