They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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