hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
