we made out on top of his cat.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
40s are totally the cure
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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