yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
